As I'm sitting in my vintage 1960s yellow La-Z-Boy rocker, dressed and ready for a night out with a boy, a very cute boy at that, I'm trying not to vomit. My nails have a fresh paint of "Let's Playa" by Sinful Colors, I've drowned my body in my favorite Tory Burch perfume, and brushed my teeth nearly 12 times since noon. I realized it's been almost a year since I've been on a real date. Honestly, I'm not sure if I've really been on a "real date" ever.
I figured the best way for to calm my nerves was to blog, or apply more foundation, but I'm already looking a little orange so I better stop now. I'm pretty lost for words right now other than I'm just ready to get there and hug this boy! Let's be honest I'm too awkward to just walk up and hug a person. I instead sit in my car debating weather if I should say hi or heyyyy, but we all know my lips will start moving and nothing will come out and I'll look like an idiot no matter how hard I try. Wow that was lengthy sentence about literally nothing.
I guess the moral of this blog about nothing is that I'm nervous about literally nothing! It will be great, I can already tell as long as I don't do something stupid; but that's pretty inevitable being the clutz that I truly am. And yes, I know that my date for the evening will probably read this and find it completely hilarious or very truthful when this is posted. Hope you guys are having a good weekend!
As I sit here painting my nails by the fireplace, that I have actually no clue how to work, with a cup of coffee I should be choosing the next chapter of my life, but obviously I'm not. If I didn't text you in sheer panic and confusion yesterday you probably have no clue what I am talking about. What I'm referring to is college. As I said in the past I have 2 Associate degrees, but me being the overachiever that I am I want my bachelor's!
Achieving the next step in my education isn't the hard part; choosing between two schools is the issue! The University of Arkansas Little Rock sent me first acceptance letter yesterday morning and I made the mistake telling everyone that I was going to be a Trojan. Well to throw a wrench in it the University of Central Arkansas sent out their persuasive acceptance letter also; so does this make me a Bear? People ask where does my heart want; UCA, but my gut says UALR.
UALR is the convenient and more accessible school. It's close to work, but I like the program at UCA better. I think I may be bias to UCA too. With multiple friends and family bearing the title of alumni I kind of want that too. UCA has been a dream school for quite a while. The only way I know how to make that decision is with prayer and a whole lot of pros and cons list, and maybe cake. Cake might help. I guess we will all have to wait and see where the next chapter takes me.
Like the title said moving on isn't as bad as I expected. I've had a great support system over the past few weeks; well really month. And this is the last time I will mention this pity party, promise. Since moving on I've tried to focus on my relationship with friends whom I neglected and my relationship with Christ, who was almost non-existent.
I still haven't found a church in Little Rock that I'm crazy about, but this last week I picked up an old devotional book that was absolutely covered in dust. The book is "Stress Point" by Sarah Francis Martin. As you work through the "journals" each day topics such as body image, dating, friends and family, and careers are put into a religious stand point. It's funny reading my old journals knowing that at the time I started this I was a freshman in college and all I wanted to do is make it into nursing school. My, how things have changed!
Flipping through the pages the one thing stuck out was; "The key isn't to check 'prayer' off of your to-do-list and move on with our day. It's to reconnect with the Lord and wait in patient expectation before His throne." Wowza! This is exactly what I need to hear right now. I will continue to pray about the future, not only relationship wise, but with college, friends and the general future.
I know you know a lot about the story of T and myself, but you probably don't know all that much about me. I figured the easiest way would for me to tell you all a little about myself and where I come from would be to play a little game of 10 questions, except you don't answer so its just all about me!
1. I am literally the tallest of all my friends! This girl is a staggering 5'8"; I guess I'm not that tall, they are just short!
{told ya}
2. I hated country music before T. My go to bands were your typical emo bands like Panic! at the Disco, Mayday Parade and 21 Pilots. Its tolerable, but my roots are still in rock and roll!
3. If you didn't catch on in an earlier post, or you are new, I am a pharmacy technician. I just celebrated a year in the pharm on Wednesday by working. Fun!
4. I have absolutely no coordination, but I danced for 10 years! Enjoy this little blast from the past!
{Go ahead and giggle because I sure am!}
5. My home town is the birth place of Bill Clinton and the the world's largest watermelon! If you can't figure it out I'll give you a little hint. "I believe in a place called Hope."
6. Being that I live in the south you probably assume that I like sweet tea, consider me the exception! I absolutely hate it!
7. I went to ski school once and dropped out with in 20 minuets of the class, needless to say I guess I've never truly snow skied, but I did try.
8. When I was 16 I underwent heart surgery for a birth defect that was over looked.
9. I was born to be a rock star. At least I would like to think so.
{Check out that cutie with the Brittany Spears style headset circa 1997}
10. Italian food is life! I could live on pasta. Probably not healthy, but it is tasty!
I had fun sharing a few fun pics with you and a little more about me! If you have any more questions please feel free to leave them in the comments and I will try to answer them as soon as possible! I love ya'll and thank you all for the overwhelming support over the past few weeks!
Since it is Valentine's Day and love is in the air I figured I needed to follow the trend wagon and make a post. I debated on doing something crafty. Nah! Baking? Well that's not particularly my forte. So I decided to do what I do best. Story tell!
It's been a couple of weeks since we've had a "T" blog so today is the day. No not the day that I tell you how he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, but the day that I brag on him just a little more. The day when I tell him why I admire him and all the reasons that I love you. Consider this a little love letter if you may; I do.
T,
You have literally brought a light back into my eyes that I thought was lost. You are strong and passionate about everything and admire you for that. It not only shows character, but also love for the ones you care most about. I love how you call me when you are doing the dishes just to ask if something is dishwasher safe. It cracks me up even though I know it's a serious question for you.
Thank you for laughing at even my dumbest of jokes, and poking fun about the water filter mishap. I may seem annoyed by it but honestly its still pretty funny! Thank you for making some pretty amazing dinners and teaching me how to let loose and enjoy life.
I know you spend a lot of time with your family, and honestly it has taken a lot of getting used to for me, but I realize now that if we ever get married and have children just how devoted to them you will be. I love that and honestly can't wait for that day! It may only be that I've known you for 7 months but it feels like forever. I love you and wish you the best of Valentine's Day!
Hey y’all! It’s Chloe’ from Chloe' Mae's Cottage! Stephanie was so kind as to let me take over her blog this week!
Before I tell y’all why I began to blog, I want to tell y’all a bit about
Steph. We’ve known each other for a while now and I can honestly say that she
is the best friend I’ve ever have. She’s been with me through thick and thin
and has shown me what a true friendship is about and I’m so incredibly grateful
for her!
So now let me tell y’all about why I began to
blog. I actually started blogging many years ago on Blogspot and had a blog
titled “My Lady Reenactor.” That was mainly a reenacting/sewing blog. After a
while I switched over to Wordpress and started the blog “Chloe’ Mae’s Cottage.”
I began to blog about everyday life- sewing projects, baking, trips,
reenactments, everything I do. It began to be a way of expressing myself and
once I realized that people actually liked what I wrote I began to write more.
I began to blog as a way to save reenacting
pictures and to show sewing projects I’ve done, but now I blog for so much
more. I want to inspire and to encourage others through my blog. I’m using the
blog as a way to put myself- my true self out there. For as long as I remember
I’ve been a private person, but when I’ve opened up I’ve been able to help
people with things they’ve been going through. So blogging has helped me learn
to open up more and I think it’s been the best way for me to learn to do so.
Steph, I’ve enjoyed
taking over the Tumbleweed! I love you, your blog, and of course Mer! You are
welcome to take over the Cottage anytime you want!
As today is our 6 month anniversary, I find it only fitting that we continue on with "T" blogs! T is not the romantic in anyway. He's your A-typical country boy who is nothing less than a big sweetheart. (Of course I'm biased) We have by this point known each other for a solid month and things were moving quite quickly. We were seeing each other every time we had a spare moment and talked non stop. After spending the weekend in my home town for my 22nd birthday, I wanted nothing but to be back in town with him. Yes, it was a fun weekend with some amazing friends, but there was a missing piece in my perfect picture.
We had already planned that instead of me going home I would just go on up to his house and spend my actual birthday together. After a 3 hour drive and a pit stop to visit my dad it seemed like an eternity before I actually got there. I finally made it and was greeted in the driveway with his contagious smile and glass shattering eyes. "Happy birthday, Stephie Lynn." I would never like this nickname if it came from anyone else, but everything he says has me wrapped around his finger.
He helps me with my bags and it was extremely obvious that he couldn't stop looking at me. I'm generally the awkward one that points out actions as strange as this, but with him I really didn't mind it. As we finish up dinner we head out to the back porch with drinks in tow. As we sit under the tiki torches in the hot July air conversation of old high school days, music and vacations strike up. As we listen to artist such as the Backstreet Boys and Jimmy Buffet and giggle like little kids the rain starts up.
T had previously bragged about his hard work on homemade porch which is pretty impressive. He left out the fact that it was a tin roof! Oh my! Every girls dream! As he grabs my hand as we began to dance I realized that there was a strong possibility that I love this country boy. Not because he was different, but because he actually cared about me in the most amazing way.
Before we retired for the night we stand in the kitchen drenched in rain laughing about what we had just done. As he leaned in for the kiss I stood in awe of this person. He is obviously not my first love, but he sure was becoming my favorite. I realize how picturesque this all seems to you guys, but I can guarantee that there are hard moments, but the best way is not to harp on them and be supportive to your good moments and of the times that you spend together.
To be honest, my first date with T was one for the books, but the second date really took the cake. Ya know how I said I had family north of what is now my hometown; well T lives 45 min away from that. So there's this cute guy who is actually willing to drive an hour and a half to see me? Keeper!
As I have mentioned previously T was different, as in different I mean he didn't fit the criteria of any of my past lovers. Standing about 5 foot 10, dusty brown hair, glass shattering blue eyes and camo? Yes, camo. This adventure loving city girl just managed to snag herself a country boy. Honestly, that part scared me a bit. What if he owns a cow? I'm terrified of cows. What if he wants me to go "backroading"? I don't really want to get dirty. Even better, what if he wants me to two step? I have two left feet, he's just going to have to let that dream go.
After a long day at the pharmacy I get a call from T saying put on your best country attire, we're going out. My heart pounded in my chest so hard that you could hear every beat. It seemed to be that I worried him since I couldn't muster up anything to say back. "You okay Stephie Lynn?' "Umm, yea fine. What time do I need to be ready?" "9. My friend, Everest, and I just left my house in Pleasant Plains, see you soon!" "Wait, what are we doing?" "You'll see."
Oh my lanta was I in trouble or what? I turned to Pintrest to attempt to find "country attire" and the only thing I find are boots. Well I own booties, floral spring booties, definitely not country style. I knew better than to wear a dress when I had no idea what we were doin' so jeans it was. Now for a top, as most of my clothes were still at my mom's house, nearly 2 hours south of here, my choices were limited. It was between an old tee that had a deer skull on the back, the same shirt I wore on our first date, or a floral kimono. The kimono it was, it was kinda country, it had fringe.
T has a terrible since of time so they didn't actually show up until 9:30. Nerves were high as I was waiting in my car at the bar. The bar scene had never really been my thing growing up in a dry county. This bar was big! Finally I see that familiar white Chevy pull up and a sense of relief rushed over me. He hops out of the truck looking like a true cowboy; hat, boots, wrangler, the whole package. He looks at me and lets out a small laugh. "Well, you tried." Rude! I put plenty of work into this outfit. {okay well maybe I didn't look country, but i was pretty cute}
We walk in and meet Everest, who had already lied to his date about what time they were leaving, this tall blonde girl in short shorts who already looked like she had, had a few drinks, and a bar full of people. T hands me a hurricane and I suddenly found a new love for a beverage. T, Everest and the blonde take the dance floor as I opted to be the drink watcher at the table. The amount of people there caused quite a bit of anxiety and fear. After about an hour the slow songs start, we all know where this is going. T grabs my hand and literally drags me on to the dance floor as "From the Ground Up" by Dan + Shay, Arkie natives, plays my legs are shaking. I stepd on his boots about a million times until finally it clicks {or I had enough alcohol in my system that I felt like I was the best dancer out there}
After a few dances I didn't want to leave the floor, or the moment. Finally I felt like a princess with a cowboy as a prince, oddly enough I loved it! It was all new and different and this city girl was slowly turning into a country girl. We spun around for what seemed like centuries until it was finally time to go home. Even the best nights of your life has to end at some point. I was learning his ways and seeing a side of the world I had yet to discover.
{This story has yet to reach its climax, but you will have to wait a little longer to find out more about T and where this story is taking us.}
As many new couples ask at the beginning of a new relationship, out of everyone in the world why did you choose me? T asked me this for a good 2 months with my response always being, "I don't know. Just 'cause I guess." Nearly 6 months in, I think I can finally answer it. I guess ya'll need a little back story first. Well here goes nothing!
Just a couple of months prior to moving, so we'll just say April-ish, I got a huge dose of reality. People I had known for years were no longer around. I was outgrowing my sleepy little town and thought I was made for the city life. Boy, was I wrong! {yet ironically I still live in the city...} With 2 associate degrees in hand I knew I had to move on. I had been living on my own for about a year at this point, well with a roommate, but that's a story for another time.
I took the plunge to move to the city on June 8th, 2016, knowing absolutely no one, I made frequent trips to a smaller town north of what was now my home. I had plenty of family that lived there so I wasn't so alone. {This part will make more sense later on, promise} I slowly started to make friends with people that lived closer to me which helped a little.
I have had a few crumby relationships in the past and had sworn off boys before the move. I promised myself that it would just be me and Meredith; my cat. I was going to be the grumpy 20 something year old that walks out in her nightgown and yells at the neighbor kids. Those darn kids! {Fun tid bit, those kids actually started a fire my second night in the apartment. I for a brief moment was the lady on the stairs in a robe holding her cat. Oh and I was in the shower when they knocked... what fun memories}
I had only lived in the city for about 3 weeks when I did what all single 20 somethings do, I redownloaded Tinder. So cringey, I know, I know. Its like a catalog of boys. You pick out which ones you like, ya know. Oh my, I'm making this sound so worse! Honestly, I had only really picked fun at this app prior. I was scrolling through crude and degrading comments/ propositions and the generic "Hey (: What's up?" As I was ready to delete the app for good I see one messaged that I had seemed to miss. It read:
"Hey how are you this afternoon?
My name is "T" and would love to get to know you better"
It was different than a lot of messages that I had received. HE WAS A REAL BOY! I was honestly surprised that his stranger actually responded to me since he had sent this message over a month before this... oops!
This first conversation lasted nearly 6 hours, and I'm not talking like just texting, I'm talking about a face to face video call. We talked about our interest, past relationships, family, ya know all the good stuff. But how could some one I met on a dating app be trustworthy, you ask? After having my trust trampled on I could still somehow see it in his eyes. Our first meeting I will save for a later date; can't spoil all the good parts!
Back to the question at hand. Why, T? He was a breath of fresh air that I desperately needed at the time. He was patient. He let me work things out on my own before I committed to anything. He is kindhearted and strong willed. He is loving yet has a playful side. He is sweet and sensitive. He admits to when he needs help. He is everything I could have asked for in a best friend and boyfriend. But mostly I still continue to choose you, because you choose me.
Finally, after 3 years, I'm back! I'm sure ya'll have missed out on quite a bit in the past 3 years. The decision to change the name of "The Life Diary's" came from the fact that life is not erasable, or nearly as messy as a diary page, but more tangled and confusing like a tumbleweed that keeps rolling on. Just some things that you can expect, other than just a new name, are things like:
LIVING IN A NEW CITY
NEW ADVENTURES
{22 and I still have no clue what I'm doing}
And of course a new mysterious man (well mysterious to ya'll, I've spent the past 6 months with, well lets just call him "T")... more about him coming soon!
Enjoy this little teaser, life is about to get a "Little Rock-y"
