Pre Date Jitters

As I'm sitting in my vintage 1960s yellow La-Z-Boy rocker, dressed and ready for a night out with a boy, a very cute boy at that, I'm trying not to vomit. My nails have a fresh paint of "Let's Playa" by Sinful Colors, I've drowned my body in my favorite Tory Burch perfume, and brushed my teeth nearly 12 times since noon. I realized it's  been almost a year since I've been on a real date. Honestly, I'm not sure if I've really been on a "real date" ever.

I figured the best way for to calm my nerves was to blog, or apply more foundation, but I'm already looking a little orange so I better stop now. I'm pretty lost for words right now other than I'm just ready to get there and hug this boy! Let's be honest I'm too awkward to just walk up and hug a person. I instead sit in my car debating weather if I should say hi or heyyyy, but we all know my lips will start moving and nothing will come out and I'll look like an idiot no matter how hard I try. Wow that was lengthy sentence about literally nothing.

I guess the moral of this blog about nothing is that I'm nervous about literally nothing! It will be great, I can already tell as long as I don't do something stupid; but that's pretty inevitable being the clutz that I truly am. And yes, I know that my date for the evening will probably read this and find it completely hilarious or very truthful when this is posted. Hope you guys are having a good weekend!

-Stephanie

The Big Debate

As I sit here painting my nails by the fireplace, that I have actually no clue how to work, with a cup of coffee I should be choosing the next chapter of my life, but obviously I'm not. If I didn't text you in sheer panic and confusion yesterday you probably have no clue what I am talking about. What I'm referring to is college. As I said in the past I have 2 Associate degrees, but me being the overachiever that I am I want my bachelor's!

Achieving the next step in my education isn't the hard part; choosing between two schools is the issue! The University of Arkansas Little Rock sent me first acceptance letter yesterday morning and I made the mistake telling everyone that I was going to be a Trojan. Well to throw a wrench in it the University of Central Arkansas sent out their persuasive acceptance letter also; so does this make me a Bear? People ask where does my heart want; UCA, but my gut says UALR.   

UALR is the convenient and more accessible school. It's close to work, but I like the program at UCA better. I think I may be bias to UCA too. With multiple friends and family bearing the title of alumni I kind of want that too. UCA has been a dream school for quite a while. The only way I know how to make that decision is with prayer and a whole lot of pros and cons list, and maybe cake. Cake might help. I guess we will all have to wait and see where the next chapter takes me.

- Stephanie

Moving On Isn't so Bad

Like the title said moving on isn't as bad as I expected. I've had a great support system over the past few weeks; well really month. And this is the last time I will mention this pity party, promise. Since moving on I've tried to focus on my relationship with friends whom I neglected and my relationship with Christ, who was almost non-existent.

I still haven't found a church in Little Rock that I'm crazy about, but this last week I picked up an old devotional book that was absolutely covered in dust. The book is "Stress Point" by Sarah Francis Martin. As you work through the "journals" each day topics such as body image, dating, friends and family, and careers are put into a religious stand point. It's funny reading my old journals knowing that at the time I started this I was a freshman in college and all I wanted to do is make it into nursing school. My, how things have changed!

Flipping through the pages the one thing stuck out was; "The key isn't to check 'prayer' off of your to-do-list and move on with our day. It's to reconnect with the Lord and wait in patient expectation before His throne." Wowza! This is exactly what I need to hear right now. I will continue to pray about the future, not only relationship wise, but with college, friends and the general future. 

-Stephanie

  

Blogger Recognition Award

Oh my sweet lanta. I got myself a little award! It might be a little bias coming from my best friend, but she genuinely likes my stuff, so I guess not! Thank you Chloe from Chloe Mae's Cottage for the award! I'm still awaiting my trophy in the mail. Just kiddin'!

How it all Began and Advice

I started blogging back in 2013 under the name "The Life Diaries" where topics such as how college life and the stress was eating me alive and boys were a plenty. I took down almost all the post except for one, "Weight a Minuet." This was my first blog post about an eating disorder I suffered with straight out of high school. The post had an overwhelming amount of support, but I still felt unsure if blogging about my life experiences was the right thing so I walked away.

With the 3 years that I didn't blog I managed to achieve 2 associates degrees and learn a little more about myself as a person. This time I wanted to blog for myself and to tell a story as a writer. I used my relationship as a muse for my first few post. I gained a pretty large following with those post, and I enjoyed writing them, but as you now know that relationship was slowly crumbling. I was forced to find other things to write about, and hoped you all would still like it. It's scary knowing that you are hiding a secret that so many people are falling in love with. 

Like I've always said all of the stories are true and that's what makes them magical and heartwarming. It's what I felt like in the moment. You live and you learn and you move on. The people who like you will stick around and continue to support you even when times are tough. Keep your head up and move on. Things aren't always going to go your way. Your post may not always have the most support or views, but the people who are viewing them most likely there for the right reasons.  

Important PSA

I sit here with the heaviest of hearts and a lot of regret to tell you that "T blogs" are officially over. I know that I will be in no position to share this blog with you all for a little while, or until the dust settles. I know so many of you look forward to hearing the story of T, or Tyler, and myself and I feel terrible for leading you all on to believe that my relationship was in a good place when it hasn't been for quite sometime.

I knew putting our relationship out in the world could come with some consequences. I am in no way asking for your sympathy, I just wanted to inform you all of why the "T blogs" just disappeared. I will continue to blog regularly. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I can't share fun adventures to share with ya'll! Thank you all for your continual support!

-Stephanie