A Long and Happy Life

This summer has been nothing but crazy! Work has me bogged down, moving to a new town and getting ready for the ultimate adventure; university. Not to mention that T is back. I'm sure if you follow my Instagram you would already figured that out. I figured we could take this time to catch up on what you've all missed out on. So how are you? How's summer treatin' ya'?

At the end of May my old city apartment was full of boxes and a one way ticket out of town. I was ready to take on the next chapter of my life in Conway; single, ambitious and a little anxious. I had to work the weekend of Mother's Day so I didn't have a chance to go visit my mom, but I was also not expecting to wake up to "Hey Stranger?" My guards were high and my blood was boiling and my responses wasn't exactly inviting. What my mom was not expecting on Mother's day was a call at 8 in the morning with me freaking out and admitting that I was still in love with the guy on the other end of that text. I was also a little dumb founded in that realization.

It took a good week for me to realize that this is in fact the right thing to do. Take him back. I now realize that it was the best thing I could have ever done. We have both grown as people, relationally and mentally. I am not here to speak for him, but I do believe that he would agree with all of this. The one thing we both lacked the first time around was communication. Whoever said communication is key was no liar. We are still working on this, but I feel that we are doing a fantastic job at it thus far!

Meredith and I are finally getting settled in to our new home. I am still driving an hour in to work every day which is bound to change soon we all hope. This past week I celebrated my 23rd birthday with a couple of my close friends, family and T, of course! It was nice and laid back which I have very much so learned to love. In less than a month I will step foot back on a college campus and every bit of me is excited about this!

I guess the moral of this story is that its okay to give things in life a second chance. They may come back to bite you, or they may be the best thing that has ever happed. Either way trust your own gut. Don't let others try to steer you away from what you feel is right for you. It may surprise you in the end.

Until next time,

Stephanie

Living with HIVES

*WARNING: this post contains some graphic pictures taken from my personal case of CIU*

So this isn't something I normally talk about, but it's really been bugging me lately. HIVES. Itchy little red sores that keep me up at night. My body can't fight them off no matter the amount of Benadryl I have poured into my body, or lathered on my skin. Oh maybe I should introduce what I'm meaning by all this medical babble; hi, I'm Stephanie and I suffer from Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria, or in a generic term chronic hives. You think when you are stressed and a small cluster of hives pops up you are annoyed well try having yours last for 7 to 12 days, turning into black bruises and your skin being paper thin. Let me just show you the journey.

Christmas Eve 2015 I came down with what stared as a stomach virus that lead to a fever during the candle light service at church and then the hives. After hiding out after the last Silent Night my mother looked over at a pail version of myself and knew something had to be done. So this begins the never ending cycle of ER visits, thyroid checks, gallbladder examinations, steroid packs, an unlimited amount of medicated ointments, and EpiPens.

 

Looks painful? It is. It burns, it's tender and can make you the most self cautious person on the planet. Working in the pharmacy I can't help but think that these people don't want me touching their medications because I'm "infected". People ask, "isn't there something your allergist can do to help you?" Yes, and she is following all the protocols for my insurance. We started out on Allegra and Zantac, yes a stomach medication can be used as an antihistamine, and the occasional Benadryl when needed. Well, Benadryl was still needed multiple times a day with the new medications. I felt like a zombie. Our next step was to have me sleep through the outbreaks so Doxapin was prescribed for sedation. This served its purpose but now I would wake up with swollen lips and not being able to breathe; meaning more trips to the emergency room. Our last step for medication was Singular. This did absolutley nothing and something had to change as the hives only seemed to affect my everyday life more and more. 

We've finally come to our last resort, Xolair. It's a fairly new drug that is used only for patients who continue to suffer from hives that can't be controlled by H1 antihistamines. I read multiple pamphlets that suggest all the worst possible outcomes like cancer and parasitic infections. Bug infections are not particularly something I want in life, but the hives are unbearable. I was tired of living my life indoors for the soul fact that I knew people would look or ask question or whatever, but also you have no idea the pain of hitting your leg ever so slightly on the corner of a table and now your pants leg is covered in blood because your skin was so fragile. Now I live a happy, hive controlled life that I am very thankful for. This is just something that I was compelled to share with the world. Why? I don't know, but I hope this helps someone in the world. 

-Stephanie

Snaps of my Week: Part Three

I guess this should be called "Snaps of my Month" because it's been a while! A lot has gone on since the last time I did one of these; I'm looking in to relocating to another near by city, I've chosen a college (post reveal coming soon!), and I've worked more than ever! I figured the easiest way to let you all know about the fun little things going on in my life was by sharing some fun pictures!

{I did a little shopping at my local Home Good's and regretted not buying this cutie! I work my butt off in all aspects of life and failed to pick up this #GIRLBOSS plaque! Geez, Steph what were you thinking!}

{On to something I don't regret, my hair! I took the plunge and chopped off my long blondish red locks and dyed it dark! Love it!}

{My mom brought me a special delivery last weekend and I couldn't be happier with the results! I was using an old blue desk that I bought at a thrift store about a year ago and refurbished myself, but it was slowly falling apart. Excuse the slight mess but I have to continually rearrange everything until I finally get it to my liking. BTW yes that is a Central Perk coffee mug you see; if you don't get the reference we can't be FRIENDS!}

{My aunt made a surprise visit yesterday and treated me to my favorite restaurant, Mellow Mushroom! If you don't have one of these around you I'm sorry because it's all sorts of magical! The decor is all sorts of 70s and I love it! Including the huge mural of Johnny Cash on the wall.}

{Spring is in the air and butterfly cookies are in my belly! I always prefer the cookies over the coffee, but the coffee is a total plus!}

Hope you all have a happy Sunday and a good week! Be sure to enjoy the spring weather, avoid pollen clouds, and eat good food!

-Stephanie

  

Pre Date Jitters

As I'm sitting in my vintage 1960s yellow La-Z-Boy rocker, dressed and ready for a night out with a boy, a very cute boy at that, I'm trying not to vomit. My nails have a fresh paint of "Let's Playa" by Sinful Colors, I've drowned my body in my favorite Tory Burch perfume, and brushed my teeth nearly 12 times since noon. I realized it's  been almost a year since I've been on a real date. Honestly, I'm not sure if I've really been on a "real date" ever.

I figured the best way for to calm my nerves was to blog, or apply more foundation, but I'm already looking a little orange so I better stop now. I'm pretty lost for words right now other than I'm just ready to get there and hug this boy! Let's be honest I'm too awkward to just walk up and hug a person. I instead sit in my car debating weather if I should say hi or heyyyy, but we all know my lips will start moving and nothing will come out and I'll look like an idiot no matter how hard I try. Wow that was lengthy sentence about literally nothing.

I guess the moral of this blog about nothing is that I'm nervous about literally nothing! It will be great, I can already tell as long as I don't do something stupid; but that's pretty inevitable being the clutz that I truly am. And yes, I know that my date for the evening will probably read this and find it completely hilarious or very truthful when this is posted. Hope you guys are having a good weekend!

-Stephanie

The Big Debate

As I sit here painting my nails by the fireplace, that I have actually no clue how to work, with a cup of coffee I should be choosing the next chapter of my life, but obviously I'm not. If I didn't text you in sheer panic and confusion yesterday you probably have no clue what I am talking about. What I'm referring to is college. As I said in the past I have 2 Associate degrees, but me being the overachiever that I am I want my bachelor's!

Achieving the next step in my education isn't the hard part; choosing between two schools is the issue! The University of Arkansas Little Rock sent me first acceptance letter yesterday morning and I made the mistake telling everyone that I was going to be a Trojan. Well to throw a wrench in it the University of Central Arkansas sent out their persuasive acceptance letter also; so does this make me a Bear? People ask where does my heart want; UCA, but my gut says UALR.   

UALR is the convenient and more accessible school. It's close to work, but I like the program at UCA better. I think I may be bias to UCA too. With multiple friends and family bearing the title of alumni I kind of want that too. UCA has been a dream school for quite a while. The only way I know how to make that decision is with prayer and a whole lot of pros and cons list, and maybe cake. Cake might help. I guess we will all have to wait and see where the next chapter takes me.

- Stephanie

Important PSA

I sit here with the heaviest of hearts and a lot of regret to tell you that "T blogs" are officially over. I know that I will be in no position to share this blog with you all for a little while, or until the dust settles. I know so many of you look forward to hearing the story of T, or Tyler, and myself and I feel terrible for leading you all on to believe that my relationship was in a good place when it hasn't been for quite sometime.

I knew putting our relationship out in the world could come with some consequences. I am in no way asking for your sympathy, I just wanted to inform you all of why the "T blogs" just disappeared. I will continue to blog regularly. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I can't share fun adventures to share with ya'll! Thank you all for your continual support!

-Stephanie  

Meredith Blogs: Week at Grandma's

"Sweet mother of catnip I'm at it again!"

Human. No. That's not funny or "cute" it's horrible, never say it again or I'm taking over this blank white page forever. I'm sure it would benefit you if I did anyways. You literally mopped around the house for a week after my last post; we obviously know who is the better mammal. If you honestly haven't figured it out it's Meredith the most fantastical, furry, black unicorn like cat in the universe!

Dang, the human rubbed off...

Last week my human pawned me off on my "grandparents" or as I like to call them "the humans that are too touchy feel-y." She was apparently tired of me, and I am sure shes trying to prime me for possibly getting a little sibling with shipping me to "grandma's" to play with Zoe. Zoe is a white piece of...

"Meredith Grey! We keep it PG on this blog!"

Well, thanks for ruining what I was going to say. "Grandma" has this oversize rat; no not a hamster like Evie, but this dog thing. He shakes, and wines, and I hate him. They call him Tadpole, I call him Tad-no! Ha I crack myself up! Consider this a scene from "Hansel and Grettle" because there is an old lady who lives in the back of the house. She wants to carry me to my food all the time. I run far, far away because I'm sure she just wants to put me in the oven and make me into a cat shaped meatloaf!

There lives a child and a man child who shows up on the weekend, they call the man child my grandpa. No thanks, we don't get along that well. Just something about his face, or the horse that follows by his side. They call the horse, Piper. Original guys, I'm sure she's named after a television show also. The horse stands in the living room staring at the carpet waiting for the "red dot." Every one knows the red dot is just an illusion of the stupidity. Must be why she drools so much, her brain is melting.

I understand that these people are the human's family and that makes them my relatives also. I do choose to like them some days, mostly when they feed me or belly rubs. Ohhhh belly rubs.... Human? Are you busy? I must be going for my belly rubs and to roll around in the reminisce of a glitter bath bomb in our tub. Until next time, so long!

-Meredith    

Weekend Adventures

Happy Sunday ya'll! Sorry for the lack of interaction this past week, sometimes ya just need to check out and spend a little time for yourself. Just because I've been a loner this week doesn't mean I didn't do anything exciting to share with all of you guys!

I went home for the weekend to meet up with a dear friend, Chloe from Chloe Mae's Cottage, and visited our local state park for an afternoon full of some adorable pictures and some crisp spring air. If you didn't know where my original stomping grounds are Hope, Arkansas; pretty much the extreme southwest corner of the state. About 15 miles down the road is the national state park of Old Washington. If you wish to know more about this gorgeous relic of the past feel free to visit their website! I'll try to give you a little tid bit about the buildings that each of the pictures where taken just for fun!

{Welcome to the 1847 Hempstead County Courthouse, active from 1847 to 1939. It now acts as the visitor's center and gift shop.}

{The Morrison Tavern resembles that of a 1830 bed and breakfast. The wood aesthetic was possibly my favorite.}

{Enjoy this fun pic from Chloe's snapchat! The park is known for its beautiful jonquils' and a festival is held every spring to admire their beauty.}

  

{Arkansas isn't called the natural state for no reason! This may seem like a normal tree, I promise it's not. I'm not sure if the world's largest magnolia tree, but it's sure up there!}

{This has got to be my most favorite picture of the day and it was completely unplanned. By this point I couldn't find matching shoes, we were cold, and the sun was setting fast. I had just finished up the last of Chloe's pictures in front of the Royston Log Cabbin and was just taking a breather on the back porch. Possibly the best picture of the day.}

If you are ever down in this direction take a few minutes to check out the park and all of it's beauty, it won't disappoint! Hope you all are having a good Sunday and good luck on the week ahead!

-Stephanie 

The Girl Behind the Tumbleweed

I know you know a lot about the story of T and myself, but you probably don't know all that much about me. I figured the easiest way would for me to tell you all a little about myself and where I come from would be to play a little game of 10 questions, except you don't answer so its just all about me!

1. I am literally the tallest of all my friends! This girl is a staggering 5'8"; I guess I'm not that tall, they are just short!

{told ya}

2. I hated country music before T. My go to bands were your typical emo bands like Panic! at the Disco, Mayday Parade and 21 Pilots. Its tolerable, but my roots are still in rock and roll! 

3. If you didn't catch on in an earlier post, or you are new, I am a pharmacy technician. I just celebrated a year in the pharm  on Wednesday by working. Fun!

4. I have absolutely no coordination, but I danced for 10 years! Enjoy this little blast from the past!

{Go ahead and giggle because I sure am!}

5. My home town is the birth place of Bill Clinton and the the world's largest watermelon! If you can't figure it out I'll give you a little hint. "I believe in a place called Hope."

6. Being that I live in the south you probably assume that I like sweet tea, consider me the exception! I absolutely hate it!

7. I went to ski school once and dropped out with in 20 minuets of the class, needless to say I guess I've never truly snow skied, but I did try.

8. When I was 16 I underwent heart surgery for a birth defect that was over looked. 

9. I was born to be a rock star. At least I would like to think so.

{Check out that cutie with the Brittany Spears style headset circa 1997}

10. Italian food is life! I could live on pasta. Probably not healthy, but it is tasty!

I had fun sharing a few fun pics with you and a little more about me! If you have any more questions please feel free to leave them in the comments and I will try to answer them as soon as possible! I love ya'll and thank you all for the overwhelming support over the past few weeks!

-Stephanie 

Snaps of my Week: Part 2

Sorry there's not much going on this week, but I figured I would go ahead and share a few pics from my week with ya'll!

The week started off with a delicious dinner prepared by yours truly! Asparagus and cheddar stuffed grilled chicken with fried taters! If you think I wrapped that chicken by myself you can thank Target!

  Sorry for the poor quality and the fact that I took it in selfie mode, but I have been living in all the tanks and tee's from www.rockcityoutfitters.com! This is probably my most favorite tank "Floatin' Rivers, Killin' Livers"! Affordable, cute and super soft! Check them out if you are a true Arkie!

 This week was brought to you by Blue Moon, totally just kiddin', but here's to hoping!

-Stephanie 

To my Best Friend on Valentine's Day

Since it is Valentine's Day and love is in the air I figured I needed to follow the trend wagon and make a post. I debated on doing something crafty. Nah! Baking? Well that's not particularly my forte. So I decided to do what I do best. Story tell!

It's been a couple of weeks since we've had a "T" blog so today is the day. No not the day that I tell you how he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, but the day that I brag on him just a little more. The day when I tell him why I admire him and all the reasons that I love you. Consider this a little love letter if you may; I do.

T,

You have literally brought a light back into my eyes that I thought was lost. You are strong and passionate about everything and admire you for that. It not only shows character, but also love for the ones you care most about. I love how you call me when you are doing the dishes just to ask if something is dishwasher safe. It cracks me up even though I know it's a serious question for you.

Thank you for laughing at even my dumbest of jokes, and poking fun about the water filter mishap. I may seem annoyed by it but honestly its still pretty funny! Thank you for making some pretty amazing dinners and teaching me how to let loose and enjoy life.

I know you spend a lot of time with your family, and honestly it has taken a lot of getting used to for me, but I realize now that if we ever get married and have children just how devoted to them you will be. I love that and honestly can't wait for that day! It may only be that I've known you for 7 months but it feels like forever. I love you and wish you the best of Valentine's Day!

Love,

Stephanie

P.S. You still make my heart happy

Snaps of my Week

So I'm trying something new this week since I've been a little under the weather. Instead of writing a normal post I figured I could explain my week in a few pictures! Enjoy ya'll!

{New notebook just for blogging ideas. So far I haven't used anything written in it... oops! Oh and can we talk about these adorable glasses from EyeBuyDirect? If you are blind and want some fashionable glasses for cheep check them out!!}

{Valentine's Day is coming and this cutie got a new home on my couch!}

{After writing my anxiety blog Tuesday a little positivity was in order! Thanks, Pintrest!}

{Okay this one might need a little explanation. I've been battling a bladder infection all week and it only seemed to progress even though I was working on a dose of Cipro. GUYS! Let this be a life lesson: NEVER LET YOURSELF GET SO DEHYDRATED THAT THEY CAN'T FIND A VEIN AND PUT AN IV IN YOU FOOT!!! Oh my gosh! You don't know pain until there in an IV in your FOOT!}

If you like these kind of post and wish to see more into my weekly life in the way of photos please let me know in the comments and I'll try to keep it up maybe every-other week. Hope you all are having a good week!

-Stephanie

Tuesday Thoughts: Anxiety

To some it may seem I have everything together, but in reality I'm a mess. I see people share those video's on Facebook that are title things like "Coping with Anxiety" or "Taking Control of your Anxiety," but honestly I feel that things like that glamorize mental illnesses. Anxiety is not always wanting to be alone in a dark room or possibly thought of suicide; for the extreme portion of the spectrum. Of course, its to each its own. I plan on doing something quite hard for myself; sharing what it's like for me living with anxiety.

I've been known to share only happy things on here, but I would be lying to you if I said that all things were unicorns and rainbows. I can't pin point where my anxiety stems from, but I wouldn't doubt that its genetic. Just like most of the world I hate to be alone, so much so that when someone tries to leave I will break down in tears occasionally. There are days that I sit on my couch all day and not respond to anyone, and there are days when I don't feel good enough for anyone. I overthink everything I say or do with the fear of hurting people.

I feel like there are day where I should be placed in a room with no outlets to socialize, because if I do I tend to annoy people or I feel like I am breaking down relationships. I am in no way an extrovert; I do prefer the quite of my home over any other place, but just because I am home doesn't make it a happy place.

Being a pharmacy technician I do believe that medication can help. Yet sometimes, from experience, I know that there is such a thing as over medicating the problem. I would have panic attacks not just while I was awake, but also in my sleep. Originally I was prescribed Sertaline, it didn't do a thing. Then on to Doxipin with Trazadone, this literally made me the most irritable zombie to walk the earth. I wasn't sure what I was doing 80% of the time. It was horrible!

Sorry this post was kind of last minute and not planned. It was something that has been harping on me for a while and I know I can't be alone in the battle. Of course it's to each it's own. People are different, things don't always affect you how you think they should, and there's always a brighter side!

-Stephanie

Blog Takeover: Chloe Mae's Cottage

Hey y’all! It’s Chloe’ from Chloe' Mae's Cottage! Stephanie was so kind as to let me take over her blog this week! Before I tell y’all why I began to blog, I want to tell y’all a bit about Steph. We’ve known each other for a while now and I can honestly say that she is the best friend I’ve ever have. She’s been with me through thick and thin and has shown me what a true friendship is about and I’m so incredibly grateful for her!

So now let me tell y’all about why I began to blog. I actually started blogging many years ago on Blogspot and had a blog titled “My Lady Reenactor.” That was mainly a reenacting/sewing blog. After a while I switched over to Wordpress and started the blog “Chloe’ Mae’s Cottage.” I began to blog about everyday life- sewing projects, baking, trips, reenactments, everything I do. It began to be a way of expressing myself and once I realized that people actually liked what I wrote I began to write more.

I began to blog as a way to save reenacting pictures and to show sewing projects I’ve done, but now I blog for so much more. I want to inspire and to encourage others through my blog. I’m using the blog as a way to put myself- my true self out there. For as long as I remember I’ve been a private person, but when I’ve opened up I’ve been able to help people with things they’ve been going through. So blogging has helped me learn to open up more and I think it’s been the best way for me to learn to do so.

Steph, I’ve enjoyed taking over the Tumbleweed! I love you, your blog, and of course Mer! You are welcome to take over the Cottage anytime you want!